Boiling Mad Bishop Passes On A Message

     Alright lads, it's Basher 'ere. 'ow you doin' then? Good? Lucky you! I's been incapacip...incorp...inpacacitat...I'm on light duties; excused sitting down coz I got a boil on me b....coz I got a boil! H'anyway, the Old Man; the Colonel that is, 'e's orf to Scotland again for a wargames maneuvers....wassit called..oh yer, Claymore, up in Hedinburrah. One of the other drivers has driven 'im there as I'm excused because of my...h'ailment.

     So 'e's off wiv the advance party and I gotta travel up wif the main body along wiv the QM. The Old Man says I can travel in one of the 3 tonners standing up in the vertical position to, as 'e sez, ease my predicament. 'E seems to find it 'ighly amusing that I got a boil on my....where I got it...and that I 'ave been excused sitting. Sez I am now h'officially allowed ter lie down on the job now for a change; cheeky beggar. Any more of that and I'll drop 'is blinking suitcases and 'is over night kit will get smashed. 'E'll get 'ell of Mrs Colonel if 'e goes 'ome with his fings stinking of whisky.

    H'anyway, before 'e left, 'e told me to get this note pinned up on the notice board in RHQ for the attention of all them as is attending the manouvers in wasname..oh yeah, Hedinburrah.

Depot Memo

From: Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding

To: All Personnel

Kit Avaiabilty

All attendees of Claymore are to be made aware of the full availability of the new issued kits from the Depot Battalion as noted in the previous memo on this subject dated 16 July 2019.

Painted examples of these kits are attached to this memo.

Theo Williams, Col.

Officer Commanding 

Depot Battalion

Belt Fed Gaming's Steam Punk Ladies, Dora, Dotty and Edwine 

and female Gestapo Agent Hildegard

Depot Battalions ECW/TYW Scouts

Depot Battalion Late 17th century limber horses with riders

Depot Battalion 17th century poacher and his son

Depot Battalion late 17th Century wounded and dying

Depot Battalion WW2 German Propaganda cameramen

Depot Battalion late 17th century casualties 

    And that's it, chaps. Now I'm to apply some of this 'ere liniment and plaster to my bu....affected parts and then off to the chip shop in town fer me dinner. I ain't getting the mickey taken out of me again in the cookhouse coz I had to eat me grub standin' up, cheeky buggers,

toodle ooh!

Basher

Postings In Part the Second

     Morning all! Basher Bishop, Colonel Bill's driver and batman 'ere. Though I think I should change me bleedin' name to Bannister! Like that fellow that has just run the 4 miles in a minute or whatever 'e did, just recently. 

     "Why's that, Basher" I 'ears you ask. Well, it's all on account of them lot in RHQ  finkin' it's funny when a chap suffers from bunions and gets excused boots fer two weeks...or was it a fortnight? I can't remember. Anyway, seeing as I am now now wearing me plimsolls wif me battledress it's been "Oi, Roger Bannister go for this!" or "Go for that, Pte Bannister" Bleedin' cheek! They can all take a run an' bleedin' jump!

      Never thought I'd miss me old boots. Anyway, Colonel's just given me a meemo to deliver to the Doc, Captain Proctor RAMC, sending me on me way wif a not very funny remark about breaking the sound barrier or sumfink.

Depot Memo

From: Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding

To: Doctor Proctor – Depot Medical Centre

Please be aware of the arrival of 8 chaps from the Franco-Dutch Wars or Williamite Wars period. They are all described as casualties, although I suspect some may just be drunken malingerers!

I would be obliged if you could check them over and report back to me as to their fitness to serve.

They have the following identifications:

DBH035 4 x Late C17th dead-or dead drunk - £5.00

DBH036 4 x Late C17th wounded-£5.00 

DBH036 4 x Late C17th wounded-£5.00 

DBH035 4 x Late C17th dead-or dead drunk - £5.00

      Next I gotta pop into the Guardroom and give this notefrom the RSM, WO1 Hope, or as we know 'im "Abandon All 'Ope" coz if you ends up in front of 'im for sumfink naughty or against regulations then that's what you can do, abandon all 'ope. Anyways I got to give this note to Provost Sgt McTavish; 'e 'ates my guts, dunno why coz he's never seen 'em...ho ho ho! Anyway, seems there's some desperate characters knocking about..

       To; Provost Sergeant McTavish

      From: WO1 Hope, 

      Provo, there's been rumors going around the garrison about poachers. Some of the Brigadier's game has been pilfered; I want you to make sure you alert the guard to look out for two unlikely types, father and son, dressed in 17th century clobber carrying contraband rabbits!!

DBH032 C17th Poacher & his son £3.00

     And then it's over to see the depot don-jew-wan, Lieutenant Denham Scott, to arrange for accommodation for some bleedin' old nags

Depot Memo

From: Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding

To: Lt Denham Scott

     Lt Scott, you must liaise with those cavalry types down the road, the Fulchester County Yeomanry, for for a regular ration of fodder for some horses that are being taken onto the Depot strength. Make sure they are looked after, the nags, not the cavalry chaps, as Mrs Colonel will be looking in on them regularly, her being a bit of a horse fancier.

    I am entrusting you with this mission as I have heard on good authority in the mess that you like getting your oats so you are the obvious choice for this task.

 T. Williams, Colonel

DBH034 2 x Late C17th limber horses with civilian riders £7.00

     And that's it, apart from these two chaps what turned up to take some publicity photos for the Garrison newspaper or so they sez. Chums of some chap called Bruce Quarry, whoever 'e is

DBH033 2 x WW2 German Army Propaganda cameramen £3.50

     An that's it chaps, I had best push orf before they starts shouting on me fer to do more 'obbling about...Ow me bleedin' tootsies

pip pip,

Basher

Later That Same Week......

     Wassat!? Stop for a natter? I ain't got the bleedin' time; the Old Man 'as sent me "'ot foot" with this 'ere memo to be dissememenated haround the departmental 'eads! Hain't 'e got a flippin' phone?

     Wassit all about? It's these 'ere new board games that we's takin' to all the shows; Command And Colours and what not....here's what we've got

£74.99

£65.99

           £57.99

            £57.99

             £49.99

£54.99

£54.99

             £67.99

£49.99

£69.99

£54.99

£46.99

            £57.99

£62.99

             £62.99

               £57.99

£57.99

£63.99

£72.99

      That's a flippin' lot of board games but, I arsks, where's yer dominoes? Wheres your cribbage? Oh, I need to remember to pop into the Chief Clerk's office as the Old Man want's 'im to put a note on Regimental Part One Orders to the h'effect that anyone...'old on, read it yourself

       From: Col. Theo Williams
              Officer Commanding,
          
   To: Chief Clerk, DHQ

      My dear Chief Clerk,
   Would you be so good as to add an addendum to todays issue of Regimental Part One Orders to the effect that anyone pre-ordering any items from Colonel Bill's for collection at a show will receive a 10% discount on those items as well as saving postage.
   Note that this also includes those new board games we are carrying.
    Pip pip,
  The Old Man.

     Right, got ter go, toodle ooh...oh my aching feet!!

More Doings From The Depot

     'Ello chaps, it's yer old mucker, Basher Bishop, 'ere at the Depot Battalion, h'Armstrong Barracks somewhere blinkin' chilly up north. 

     Just running yet h'another h'errand for Colonel Bill, 'im what's in charge of this 'ere depot. I tell you what though, 'e needs to get 'imself someone younger to run these blinkin' h'errands; h'I ain't as fit as I used ter be. Ah, when I was a young 'un I used to run the legs of them janitors at the local schools wiv a couple of pounds of roof lead in me 'aver sack.

    Between knicki....ahem....h'appropriating lead for a few bob at the local scrap merchants and h'aquiring the occasional turnip or jacket pockets full of spuds to give to me old Mum to supplement our rations I used to keep pretty nippy on me feet.

     But that was back during the war, nowadays I am a little bit worn at the h'edges; not so nippy if you catch me drift. So 'h'anyway, word 'as it we're h'off on a scheme up north!! North to bleeding Scotland!! 

     We's attending maneuvers in Glasgow, Fank 'eavens it's summer so I'll probably get away with me normal thermals rather than the h'artic ones I...ahem...h'aquired. Anyhow, we's at h'an event called the Glasgow Games Gathering h'on the 29 June. Which is h'all well and good but I'm 'oping the Old Man doesn't get plied wiv too much whisky h'afterwards as 'e ends up like a bear wiv a sore 'ead for days after and it's generally yours truly what cops it. 

     H'and that's because Mrs Colonel gives him short shrift. Last time 'e was up that way there was a bit of a scandal involving 'im and a song and dance act called...let me see... Fran and h'Anna; a right couple of cheeky minxes they was, led the Old Man a merry dance around the mess bar after the show they had put on in the NAAFI for the lads. H'apparently the Old Man got caught with one of their...well, don't really matter, do it; she, Mrs Colonel still gives him what for over the whole fing.

     Anyway, the following day, we's down nearer civilisation, in Penrith for the Phoenix Show (I wunner if Fran and Anna will be there?) then it's back to the dear old Depot.

   But right now, h'I got this inter departmental memo to take around the Depot 'eads of sheds; what's in it? h'I couldn't possibly say; wassat you say; couple of pints in the NAAFI bar tonight? Alright, let's have a cheeky peek; and remember mum's the word..

Depot Memo

From: Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding

To: Departmental Heads, Depot Battalion


Gentlemen, 
a) Border Reivers; As mentioned in a previous memo we have already taken stock of the new line of Border Reivers and some jolly talented type has painted some up for display purposes. I attach a photo

just to make you all aware that for the forthcoming maneuvers up north we shall be equipped with the following new items;

Next up we have these ladies. Now I am somewhat at a loss as to what the deuce they are but here is what the official paperwork I received with them states "Brand new from Belt Fed Gaming: BFG53 Hildegard, a WW2 Gestapo Inspektor. Hildegard is a real nastypiece of work. She sports a monocle, a nazi armband, and has a cigarette hanging from her lip. She is certainly not one to be crossed.... in total contrast we have BFG54 Dora, Dotty & Edwina, the best, most fun loving, Steampunk girls you would ever hope to meet.

Not too sure about Ms Hildegard but, by jove, those steampunk ladies look very daring. Certainly young ladies didn't dress like that in Mother's time. These "ladies" are followed by something much more sensible. These..well again I'll let the paperwork speak for me here; A new set of figures now available from the D'Arlo Figurines Border Reivers range. This is DFBR11, an Elizabethan farming family, depicting the farmer, his wife plus two sons. We feel these figures will be useful in many and varied scenarios outside of the Borders. They cost £6.50 and are exclusively available online from Colonel Bills, or at our stall at all leading wargames events

And, keeping with the historical theme; there's these fellows, over to the paperwork once more; A new addition to the Depot Battalion C17th range - DBH031 Scouts RRP £7.00. Two scouts, one mounted and the other leading his horse trying to ascertain the location of the enemy

Lastly but by no means least, there's this marvel. The attached paperwork reads says; Big news: in addition to our D'Arlo Figurines border reivers figures; we now have the first two models in a range of MDF borders buildings kits - under the D'Arlo Designs banner! These have been designed and produced in conjunction with the highly skilled and experienced 'Warbases' team, and an excellent job they have made of them. DDBR101 is a Borders Peel, based upon Smailholm Tower near Kelso. It is a big model complete with outbuildings and barmkin wall. RRP £75. DDBR102 is a Borders Bastle House. RRP £18. Both kits require assembly and are unpainted. We have them both in stock online and we will have them with us at Glasgow and Penrith shows at the end of the month. The photos are of models completed by Malcolm Allen. He has taken the liberty of adding thatch to some of the roofs

So there we have it, gents, lots going on in the Depot Battalion and that building looks absolutely spiffing, I must say. 
You must make sure all this new equipment is labelled correctly and packed along with the usual stores for the forthcoming shows. I will be carrying out a full, thorough inspection prior to departure so get your chaps to work right away.
Any problems, you can find me here in RHQ or at the mess bar at lunch time.

Colonel Bill

Right chaps, I best get going; we's going to be very busy the next few days and I'm likely to be run orf me bleedin' feet with all the preparations.
Toodle-ooh and don't forget those free beers in the NAAFI tonight coz I ain't forgetting them.

      

From The Colonels Out Tray no3

     Wotcher, chums, what's new? Well what a bleedin' day I've 'ad; the Old Man's only 'ad the War Hoffice on the blower. H'apparently someone down there fourt we wus being h'invaded!! 

     It all started just after NAAFI break, I was just settling down for nice puff on me pipe; had just lit it when the Old Man starts 'ollering for me. "Bishop!" 'e shouts "Bishop, you idle scoundrel where are you, man!?" Quick as a flash I stuffs me pipe into me battledress pocket and runs along to 'is office. "'Ere I am, sir!" sez I. "Ah good" 'e sez "Take this memo along to the chief clerk and get him to run off a copy for each department in the barracks and send out two copies to each of the units in the garrison; understood?" "Memo to the chief clerk; copy to each department h'in the barracks and two to each unit in the garrison" sez I, parrot-like. 'E smiled at me and said "That's it, Bishop, well done. Oh, and Bishop, you might want to pop by the guard room and ask the Provost Sergeant to call out the fire picket". "Fire picket, sir?" sez I, quizzical-like. He laughed at me and sez "Yes Bishop, your battle dress appears to be on fire" "Bleedin' 'ell, me pipe!!" I sez and pulled me pipe out of my pocket which was full of smoke "Sorry sir" sez I but 'e never 'eard me; 'e was bent over laughing 'is 'ead orf! Nice, a whole bowl of Old Hobrun gorn up in smoke without yours truly 'aving a puff!!

     So, anyways, orf I goes to see the Chief Clerk or "Chiefy" as we calls 'im and gives 'im this 'ere memo....

Depot Memo

From: Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding

To: Lt Denham Scott

I understand that we are to be overrun with a new range of Border Reivers from a company known as D’Arlo Figurines! Apparently these chaps will steal the air that you breathe, so lets make sure that everything is locked away so that they are not tempted with any of our other stock!

Norman the Storeman informs me that there are 12 mounted and 16 chaps on foot and that they are all available from the online shop and at forthcoming events.

Border Reivers!! Gad, what next!!

Memo ends

26.02.2019

     now the Chiefy is fond of 'is tipple and las' night there was a bit of a do in the Warrant Hofficers and Sergeants Mess; someone had found a ten shilling note or sumfink; any excuse for a bit of a bash, that lot. Anyway, the Chiefy was feeling a bit fragile and not foccusin' too closelyon what was written on the Old Man's memo and, happarently 'e started phoning up all the regiments on the garrison telling them all we was being hinvaded by the Russkies. Dunno 'ow 'e got that from Rievers but it caused a big stink at Garrison 'eadquarters and down in the War Hoffice. The Old Man was livid and the Chiefy's been uo in front of 'im and the RSM and neither of them hinvited him to 'ave a cuppa and a digestive, if you catch my drift.

      Anyhow, apparently there's going to be a nother big do in the Warrant Hofficers and Sergeants Mess again tonight, only Chiefy wont be there, 'e's on Horderley Sergeant for the next week but they are "letting" 'im foot the bill for their drinks.....

The Chiefy after 'is ticking orf from
the Old Man

     Ps. I 'eard the Old Mna saying we'll be seeing some these 'ere Rievers in the flesh, so ter speak, very soon. 

Toodle ooh mates,

Basher

  

Doings from the Depot

Laughing Lars Froiks Painting Corner

     Hello chaps, Basher Bishop 'ere. Blimey, s'been a long time since I clapped me eyes on you. I suppose you're wondering whats been 'appening 'ere at the Depot since we last 'ad a chat. Well, not a lot really. It's been the usual stores audits which meant move the QM store out onto the square, polish every bleeding thing, lay it all out in order, account for every bleeding thing, explain why that bleeding thing or this bleeding thing is a-missing and where's the bleeding paperwork for it; honestly s'enough to drive you stark staring bonkers, it is. 

     An' on top of all that, the Colonel's lad went and got wed. The Old Man was in a right tizz what with 'is missus bending 'is ear 'ole about this, that and the other. 

     Anyhow, they all 'ad a right old dingdong and the Colonel, 'e ended up on crutches after trying to show the assembled guests how to dance like what them Cossacks do; sez 'e saw them do it in Germany when 'e was a young 2nd lieutenant at the end of the war. 'E's been on crutches this last week or so, the miserable old so and so.

  

     Other news is we've 'ad a new chap posted in; ex-gunner; posted into the QMs department as the Regimental Sign Writer . Sensitive lad 'e is. Posted sideways from the Gunners after 'e got knocked on the bonce by a recoiling 25 pounder breach; made 'im a bit doo-lally it did.  Gunner Larry Froik is name is. Mad keen on painting 'e is which is just as well as a lot of the signs in this 'ere barracks is need a bit of a touch up. 'ere's a photo of 'im what I took in 'is room while 'e was painting the new sign for the NAAFI canteen.

     I fink 'e got a bit carried away but the NAAFI manager liked it; gave 'im a bottle of scotch which young Lars, as we call 'im, is very partial too. I thought it was terrible meself and sez so and 'e called me a Fillerstine!! Blinking cheek!! I'm C of E sez I and just you remember that. 'E just fell down laughing, 'e did. I let it go as it was 'is round at the bar an' I 'ad a raging thirst.

      Anyhow, turns out 'e likes painting so much 'e even paints proper stuff. 'E' painted up some of them wargames figures that the Colonel's been producing in an effort to keep 'is missus in shoes an' 'anbags and what nots. 'ere's some of em 'ere

C17th Inn Set from Colonel Bill's part of their non player character
sets. Just the thing for adding a bit of character to your ECW and TYW
war games tables. I plan to use them in games of Donnybrook and En Garde

Locals gathering to here the latest news at the local inn

ECW/TYW cart with crew and supplies. All these are available
from Colonel Bill's Depot Battalion range

This is one of the Belt Fed female figures that Colonel
Bill's also stock. She has obviously decided to try on her
beau's uniform. 

Another Belt Fed girls, this time a
Blitzmadchen who bears a strong resemblance
to Helga Geerhart from, and listen closely, I
will say this only once; a certain British comedy
show set in WW2 France

     Well that's all that's been a-going on 'ere at the Depot, chums. Gotta go, the Old Man'll wanting 'is cuppa and a digestive. Toodle ooh!

Basher Bishop