'Ello chaps, it's yer old mucker, Basher Bishop, 'ere at the Depot Battalion, h'Armstrong Barracks somewhere blinkin' chilly up north.
Just running yet h'another h'errand for Colonel Bill, 'im what's in charge of this 'ere depot. I tell you what though, 'e needs to get 'imself someone younger to run these blinkin' h'errands; h'I ain't as fit as I used ter be. Ah, when I was a young 'un I used to run the legs of them janitors at the local schools wiv a couple of pounds of roof lead in me 'aver sack.
Between knicki....ahem....h'appropriating lead for a few bob at the local scrap merchants and h'aquiring the occasional turnip or jacket pockets full of spuds to give to me old Mum to supplement our rations I used to keep pretty nippy on me feet.
But that was back during the war, nowadays I am a little bit worn at the h'edges; not so nippy if you catch me drift. So 'h'anyway, word 'as it we're h'off on a scheme up north!! North to bleeding Scotland!!
We's attending maneuvers in Glasgow, Fank 'eavens it's summer so I'll probably get away with me normal thermals rather than the h'artic ones I...ahem...h'aquired. Anyhow, we's at h'an event called the Glasgow Games Gathering h'on the 29 June. Which is h'all well and good but I'm 'oping the Old Man doesn't get plied wiv too much whisky h'afterwards as 'e ends up like a bear wiv a sore 'ead for days after and it's generally yours truly what cops it.
H'and that's because Mrs Colonel gives him short shrift. Last time 'e was up that way there was a bit of a scandal involving 'im and a song and dance act called...let me see... Fran and h'Anna; a right couple of cheeky minxes they was, led the Old Man a merry dance around the mess bar after the show they had put on in the NAAFI for the lads. H'apparently the Old Man got caught with one of their...well, don't really matter, do it; she, Mrs Colonel still gives him what for over the whole fing.
Anyway, the following day, we's down nearer civilisation, in Penrith for the Phoenix Show (I wunner if Fran and Anna will be there?) then it's back to the dear old Depot.
But right now, h'I got this inter departmental memo to take around the Depot 'eads of sheds; what's in it? h'I couldn't possibly say; wassat you say; couple of pints in the NAAFI bar tonight? Alright, let's have a cheeky peek; and remember mum's the word..
Depot Memo
From: Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding
To: Departmental Heads, Depot Battalion
Gentlemen, a) Border Reivers; As mentioned in a previous memo we have already taken stock of the new line of Border Reivers and some jolly talented type has painted some up for display purposes. I attach a photo
just to make you all aware that for the forthcoming maneuvers up north we shall be equipped with the following new items;
Next up we have these ladies. Now I am somewhat at a loss as to what the deuce they are but here is what the official paperwork I received with them states "Brand new from Belt Fed Gaming: BFG53 Hildegard, a WW2 Gestapo Inspektor. Hildegard is a real nastypiece of work. She sports a monocle, a nazi armband, and has a cigarette hanging from her lip. She is certainly not one to be crossed.... in total contrast we have BFG54 Dora, Dotty & Edwina, the best, most fun loving, Steampunk girls you would ever hope to meet.
Not too sure about Ms Hildegard but, by jove, those steampunk ladies look very daring. Certainly young ladies didn't dress like that in Mother's time. These "ladies" are followed by something much more sensible. These..well again I'll let the paperwork speak for me here; A new set of figures now available from the D'Arlo Figurines Border Reivers range. This is DFBR11, an Elizabethan farming family, depicting the farmer, his wife plus two sons. We feel these figures will be useful in many and varied scenarios outside of the Borders. They cost £6.50 and are exclusively available online from Colonel Bills, or at our stall at all leading wargames events
And, keeping with the historical theme; there's these fellows, over to the paperwork once more; A new addition to the Depot Battalion C17th range - DBH031 Scouts RRP £7.00. Two scouts, one mounted and the other leading his horse trying to ascertain the location of the enemy
Lastly but by no means least, there's this marvel. The attached paperwork reads says; Big news: in addition to our D'Arlo Figurines border reivers figures; we now have the first two models in a range of MDF borders buildings kits - under the D'Arlo Designs banner! These have been designed and produced in conjunction with the highly skilled and experienced 'Warbases' team, and an excellent job they have made of them. DDBR101 is a Borders Peel, based upon Smailholm Tower near Kelso. It is a big model complete with outbuildings and barmkin wall. RRP £75. DDBR102 is a Borders Bastle House. RRP £18. Both kits require assembly and are unpainted. We have them both in stock online and we will have them with us at Glasgow and Penrith shows at the end of the month. The photos are of models completed by Malcolm Allen. He has taken the liberty of adding thatch to some of the roofs
So there we have it, gents, lots going on in the Depot Battalion and that building looks absolutely spiffing, I must say.
You must make sure all this new equipment is labelled correctly and packed along with the usual stores for the forthcoming shows. I will be carrying out a full, thorough inspection prior to departure so get your chaps to work right away.
Any problems, you can find me here in RHQ or at the mess bar at lunch time.
Colonel Bill
Right chaps, I best get going; we's going to be very busy the next few days and I'm likely to be run orf me bleedin' feet with all the preparations.
Toodle-ooh and don't forget those free beers in the NAAFI tonight coz I ain't forgetting them.
