Wotcher, chums, what's new? Well what a bleedin' day I've 'ad; the Old Man's only 'ad the War Hoffice on the blower. H'apparently someone down there fourt we wus being h'invaded!!
It all started just after NAAFI break, I was just settling down for nice puff on me pipe; had just lit it when the Old Man starts 'ollering for me. "Bishop!" 'e shouts "Bishop, you idle scoundrel where are you, man!?" Quick as a flash I stuffs me pipe into me battledress pocket and runs along to 'is office. "'Ere I am, sir!" sez I. "Ah good" 'e sez "Take this memo along to the chief clerk and get him to run off a copy for each department in the barracks and send out two copies to each of the units in the garrison; understood?" "Memo to the chief clerk; copy to each department h'in the barracks and two to each unit in the garrison" sez I, parrot-like. 'E smiled at me and said "That's it, Bishop, well done. Oh, and Bishop, you might want to pop by the guard room and ask the Provost Sergeant to call out the fire picket". "Fire picket, sir?" sez I, quizzical-like. He laughed at me and sez "Yes Bishop, your battle dress appears to be on fire" "Bleedin' 'ell, me pipe!!" I sez and pulled me pipe out of my pocket which was full of smoke "Sorry sir" sez I but 'e never 'eard me; 'e was bent over laughing 'is 'ead orf! Nice, a whole bowl of Old Hobrun gorn up in smoke without yours truly 'aving a puff!!
So, anyways, orf I goes to see the Chief Clerk or "Chiefy" as we calls 'im and gives 'im this 'ere memo....
Depot
Memo
From:
Colonel Theo. Williams, Officer Commanding
To:
Lt Denham Scott
I understand that we
are to be overrun with a new range of Border Reivers from a company
known as D’Arlo Figurines! Apparently these chaps will steal the
air that you breathe, so lets make sure that everything is locked
away so that they are not tempted with any of our other stock!
Norman the Storeman
informs me that there are 12 mounted and 16 chaps on foot and that
they are all available from the online shop and at forthcoming events.
Border Reivers!! Gad,
what next!!
Memo ends
26.02.2019
now the Chiefy is fond of 'is tipple and las' night there was a bit of a do in the Warrant Hofficers and Sergeants Mess; someone had found a ten shilling note or sumfink; any excuse for a bit of a bash, that lot. Anyway, the Chiefy was feeling a bit fragile and not foccusin' too closelyon what was written on the Old Man's memo and, happarently 'e started phoning up all the regiments on the garrison telling them all we was being hinvaded by the Russkies. Dunno 'ow 'e got that from Rievers but it caused a big stink at Garrison 'eadquarters and down in the War Hoffice. The Old Man was livid and the Chiefy's been uo in front of 'im and the RSM and neither of them hinvited him to 'ave a cuppa and a digestive, if you catch my drift.
Anyhow, apparently there's going to be a nother big do in the Warrant Hofficers and Sergeants Mess again tonight, only Chiefy wont be there, 'e's on Horderley Sergeant for the next week but they are "letting" 'im foot the bill for their drinks.....
 |
| The Chiefy after 'is ticking orf from the Old Man |
Ps. I 'eard the Old Mna saying we'll be seeing some these 'ere Rievers in the flesh, so ter speak, very soon.
Toodle ooh mates,
Basher
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